That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm like, not good at living.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
