He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Success! We fucked roommates!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
