you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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