You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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