What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
