I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
