id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
