I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
two words...techno handjob
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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