Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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