just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
