only you would photoshop your dick
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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