Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
