watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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