He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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