Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
