i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
