i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
