Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
