there's paper in my vomit.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
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The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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