Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
