the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
