i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Are we still banned from the library?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
