Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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