you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
