i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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