i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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