well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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