I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
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Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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