It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
