I want to make a zoo with you.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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