VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Life is so much better after having sex.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
