I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Buhtt sex?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
