uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
there's paper in my vomit.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize