I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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