this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
