I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
