Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
