I hate your face
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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