somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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