i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
