the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
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I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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