What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
