Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
