you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
