Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
