BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
