THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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