I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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