I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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