I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
