I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
