i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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