Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My friends, they love my intelligence
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
