I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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