So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize