Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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