not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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