I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
