I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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