She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
