i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Im part way to drunk.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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