Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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